It’s no secret. Men usually feel intimidated by sex toys. There are no reasons to fear vibrators and I can go on for hours telling you why, but I chose to ask a friend of mine, a man, to explain it for me. I thought it could be a someone guys will trust more, just because “he has a penis and he can understand”.
“We, men, are not fans of sex toys for women and couples (I will not speak of sex toys designed for men this time, maybe next). Actually, the large majority of us is quite afraid of these vibrating pieces of silicone. We feel like these ‘things’ are going to make us, as a gender, useless. Let’s think about it.
Nowadays, women do not seem to need men that much. They are high achievers, they have wonderful careers, they are empowered. To be really clear and avoid pointless discussions:
I’m a man and I’m a feminist.
So I am really happy for those achievements and I am the first in line fighting for the absolute gender equality and women rights.
Once this is clear, we can go on.
Men are being deprived of one aspect that has been crucial for centuries: providing for their wives and families (well, at the end of the day this is not actually bad). Now, smart men know how to accept this and ‘evolve’ but asking them to also renounce to their sexual functions, this seems cruel. Our virility is already endangered by the absurdity of porn (how many teenagers feel inadequate because they think ladies appreciate only members of the size of porn actors) and stereotypes of perfect bodies from commercials (yes, these things affect also men, even though we are quite restrained to admit it).
So, you ladies start to see the point.
To admit that sometimes we need help to satisfies our partners is a huge blow to our ego.
The lack of sex education, the bombardment of false and misleading information about how women’s orgasm works make us fear sex toys. One of the most common thoughts, when men are asked to use sex toys with their partners, is: “What if she likes it better than she likes me? She will dump me…”
But there is hope. Quite a few of us are starting to understand the complexity of women and how sex sometimes works differently for them.
We probably never get it completely, but, at least, something is changing.
The smartest among us are seeing sex toys as a way to improve the sexual life of their partners and, therefore, their own.
Often these men have been helped. By whom? You, ladies! A man alone will never make the first step in the acceptance of sex toys as part of the couple sex life, but if slowly introduced to this new and alien world by the woman he trusts, well, it’s almost done. The smartest among us know that the most amusing part of sex is to see our partner satisfied and happy. So, the smartest among us will do whatever it takes to do it. And if it is a sex toy, we will accept it with a smile on our faces!
To wrap it up (although I could write a lot more about it) a message for women and one for men.
Ladies: if you feel your sexual life is missing something, go and speak with your man. Introduce him to sex toys (if you like it, of course) at the pace you both are more comfortable with and experiment. But, in this case, the first move should be yours!
Boys: don’t be afraid of sex toys. They will not steal your beloved. On the contrary, it could make you closer than ever. So give it a try and, most importantly, keep an open mind and listen to your partner! 99.9% of the times is the best thing you can do!
One of the smart men (AKA MB)”
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