21st Century Sexuality – Breaking Down Taboos

If you ask people what they consider to be a taboo topic, the most likely answer is sex.

Even though we live in a society where sex is advertised in everything from perfume to gym memberships we still find it difficult to have open conversations about sex, even with the person we are having it with.

The world is changing, and it feels like we are making progress in terms of moving towards more open discussions and law changes around equality, but there still feels a stigma around conversations about sexuality that are free of judgement. It feels strange in a way that people can discuss what cuisine they like, or exercise class that they prefer but not what type of sex they like to have.

Providing that sex is consensual between all parties why shouldn’t we engage in activities that give us pleasure in the way that we do in the rest of our lives without judgement being an issue?

Let’s be honest, without someone having sex none of us would be here anyway.
So how do we continue moving forward?

Woody Allen famously said ‘don’t knock masturbation, it’s sex with someone I love’, and taking this attitude forward would be useful for all of us. To explore what we like and dislike, even just on our own. Knowing our own bodies and the type of touch or pleasure that we like, only better helps us show partners and develop our own sense of sexual self and self-esteem, which adds to a healthier and happier sexual life.

When it comes to sex toys, many of us still shy away from talking about our newest purchases but the sex toy business is an estimated $15 billion industry, this isn’t because people aren’t buying them. This has been largely buoyed by the book series Fifty Shades of Grey, creating a shift in attitudes towards being more experimental and the fact that people openly read the book in public, giving the world permission to openly talk about sex.

The element of choice is what is the change factor here – freedom to choose.

I choose what I want from my sex life, I choose what I want to do with my partner or partners and I choose what I like.

katemoyleBY KATE MOYLE
PSYCHOSEXUAL THERAPIST
@KATEMOYLEPSYC