Few days ago was Meg Ryan’s bday and while zapping on TV I watched again that fantastic scene where she fakes an orgasm in ‘When Harry met Sally’. She is the best faker ever! I love that scene. Then I started wondering, women do really fake orgasm a lot. Why? Maybe most of the time we do it because we aren’t having a great sex and want it to be over asap. Or sometime we are feeling uncomfortable, annoyed, tired. Actually there can be millions of reasons. I spent hours trying to figure them out and questioning myself on what is the true reason behind that.
Later on that day, I had lunch with my best friends and I couldn’t resist sharing my dilemma with them: ‘girls, honestly, why do we fake it?’
After a few moments of that ‘question mark’ faces that say, “c’mon, you know why” the girls came out with several reasons.
And here they are.
B., who fakes it almost every time she has a one-night stand, does it because she doesn’t want to hurt him. Ok, fair enough! During sex with someone you barely know it’s much more complicated (impossible?) to find that chemistry (not a good excuse anyway). And then? Then, for the lucky ones that get a second night, it comes the ‘because I want to please him’ or ‘it turns him on’.
And what about you?! Why do we always have to think about him first? He has fun, does his business, and is happy. And us? Most of time we have fun too but without that spark that we deserve (not fair, uh?). I know, it’s not easy to say to someone you don’t’ really know he\she’s not doing a good job, but we can avoid to start with ‘sorry, you suck’ and find the way to guide him\her to get what we want. At least, we have to try!! It’s really hard to find the perfect love machine guy (not impossible, though).
M. is a lucky girl, apparently she really has orgasms most of the time, but if M. fakes it is because “I don’t want to look frigid or justify why can’t. It’s the easiest way out!”. … not a great way out! We are complicated and, talking about sex, we like different things. If men don’t get that, well, time to wake up boys. Use what you have and follow our instructions! It’s going to be much better for everybody!!
Last, but not least, S. gave me a smart answer. S. used to fake the orgasm many times, more or less for the same reasons as M. and B. But also, she really didn’t know what she liked and guiding her partners was quite problematic. But once she figured it out (many solo and sex sections for S.) she promised herself to ‘never lose time again. I’m going to tell him what I want, where and how!’.
Here is the key! Girls, no matter if you are with a one-night stand or with your lifetime partner, if you know what you like, than say it aloud! Stop faking orgasm!
Change position, lick, tickle, faster or slower, sex toys, whatever you’d like. It’s time to climax as much as we can!
PS: Thanks to B., M. and S. for a chat that ended after 5 hours of sharing, laughing and discussing. #StopFakingIt
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